just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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