SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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