Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
