Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
