My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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