You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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