We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
