don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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