I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
