i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
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It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
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I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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