dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish you could order shots online.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
