I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
