The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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