a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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