He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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