It's Friday. Sex?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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