If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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