i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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