I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
