Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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