My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
