She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
