Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
