dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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