she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
