He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
