I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize