Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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