Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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