Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Girls should come with a carfax report
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
