I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
