walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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