I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
