so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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