he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.