A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity