talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.