I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize