sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
