Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif
  Replies (15) Good night (2645) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd
  Replies (25) Good night (5941) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much' http://tfl.nu/b5vr
  Replies (26) Good night (2476) Bad night (8101)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is. http://tfl.nu/ejf0
  Replies (12) Good night (5192) Bad night (1359)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  We're doing a case race on Saturday.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): We're doing a case race on Saturday. (302): I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/1jnr
  Replies (5) Good night (4026) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment. http://tfl.nu/ozel
  Replies (7) Good night (1369) Bad night (2275)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/ufdq
  Replies (19) Good night (2393) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now. http://tfl.nu/oxop
  Replies (12) Good night (2695) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ. http://tfl.nu/ko9e
  Replies (11) Good night (1479) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in.. http://tfl.nu/ctm0
  Replies (5) Good night (1286) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall. http://tfl.nu/80cl
  Replies (7) Good night (2047) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail. http://tfl.nu/3erx
  Replies (5) Good night (921) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter http://tfl.nu/2ljl
  Replies (5) Good night (607) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/atoq
  Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?" http://tfl.nu/g9qb
  Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (343)

Randomize