he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.