Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.

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(610): A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex. http://tfl.nu/u4lo

Replies (29) Good night (6045) Bad night (1176)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.

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(775): I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;) (1-775): Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city. http://tfl.nu/zbb5

Replies (14) Good night (4783) Bad night (682)
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(636): View more from Missouri

she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"

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(636): she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you" http://tfl.nu/5amp

Replies (41) Good night (814) Bad night (8562)
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(636): View more from Missouri

No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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(636): No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from. http://tfl.nu/d5gf

Replies (4) Good night (1005) Bad night (2973)
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(314): View more from Missouri

You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...

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(314): You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out... http://tfl.nu/a1pv

Replies (7) Good night (6488) Bad night (1033)
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(727): View more from Florida

and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos

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(727): and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos http://tfl.nu/qrbd

Replies (11) Good night (4671) Bad night (852)
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(425): View more from Washington

Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?

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(425): Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy? http://tfl.nu/h26n

Replies (10) Good night (1334) Bad night (644)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

(774): View more from Massachusetts

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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(774): omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore.... (774): HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/0qjd

Replies (4) Good night (1822) Bad night (613)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.

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(603): I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband. http://tfl.nu/f6ah

Replies (5) Good night (448) Bad night (1541)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.

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(623): Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to. http://tfl.nu/084z

Replies (6) Good night (2181) Bad night (482)
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(905): View more from Ontario

You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

(1-905): View more from Ontario

He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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(905): You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot" (1-905): He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka. http://tfl.nu/0kc2

Replies (4) Good night (1132) Bad night (884)
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(330): View more from Ohio

GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.

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(330): GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP. http://tfl.nu/8n34

Replies (11) Good night (1868) Bad night (415)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.

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(541): I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis. http://tfl.nu/x9yx

Replies (4) Good night (872) Bad night (549)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.

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(610): The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable. http://tfl.nu/zn9i

Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (953)
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(415): View more from California

Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles

(907): View more from Alaska

How do you keep ending up in these situations?

(415): View more from California

My dad is their accountant

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(415): Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles (907): How do you keep ending up in these situations? (415): My dad is their accountant http://tfl.nu/1r4v

Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (211)

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