all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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