And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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