Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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