He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
