i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
that may or may not have been my penis.
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