I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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