the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
