bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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