Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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