I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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