Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
