I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
