i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
