im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
