Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
