I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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