I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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