We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
