Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
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I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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