like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
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Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
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She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize