Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
