It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
