I could have mohawked her pubes.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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