my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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