me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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