as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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