Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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