she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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