she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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