im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
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This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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