Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
