I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
