I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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